Nicholas Lee
October 11, 2019
October 11, 2019 “Afraid to show any emotion associated with weakness, I wouldn’t share with others how debilitating my anxiety was. I also felt isolated due to my sexuality, as my peers and coaches consistently used homophobic language. This only further exasperated my anxiety. My anxiety followed me into high school. By my junior year, feeling the additional pressures involving getting into a good college intensifying, my anxiety had manifested itself in depression. I began to have suicidal ideations and began to self-harm. Too ashamed of who I was as a gay man, I thought I would never find my place in the world, let alone in sports. I believed that I would lose the love and respect of those closest to me. Simultaneously reluctant and desperate for help, I decided to open up to a good friend about my feelings and the dire state that I was in. Worried that my situation would continue to escalate and scared that I would take my own life, he vocalized his concerns to his mom, who then contacted my mom. I eagerly wanted to avoid coming out to my mom. I did not want to disappoint my parents. But when confronted by
October 11, 2019 “Afraid to show any emotion associated with weakness, I wouldn’t share with others how debilitating my anxiety was. I also felt isolated due to my sexuality, as my peers and coaches consistently used homophobic language. This only further exasperated my anxiety. My anxiety followed me into high school. By my junior year, feeling the additional pressures involving getting into a good college intensifying, my anxiety had manifested itself in depression. I began to have suicidal ideations and began to self-harm. Too ashamed of who I was as a gay man, I thought I would never find my place in the world, let alone in sports. I believed that I would lose the love and respect of those closest to me. Simultaneously reluctant and desperate for help, I decided to open up to a good friend about my feelings and the dire state that I was in. Worried that my situation would continue to escalate and scared that I would take my own life, he vocalized his concerns to his mom, who then contacted my mom. I eagerly wanted to avoid coming out to my mom. I did not want to disappoint my parents. But when confronted by
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